It’s been a full five months since I last did an installment of ‘What the Kids are Listening To,’ the series in which I cover the songs currently topping the Billboard Hot 100.
Back in May, Ella Langley’s ‘Choosin’ Texas’ had been at #1 for seven weeks, a record for a woman country artist. After that, of course, it held on to the top spot for 24 total weeks, besting Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas is You‘ to become the longest-running #1 hit in Billboard history.
It finally surrendered the lead position a couple of weeks back, though, to perhaps the only artist popular enough to slow down such a juggernaut: Taylor Swift.
Swift released The Life of a Showgirl: The Encore last month, adding four new songs to her 2025 pop album. ‘Patient Zero’ is the first single, and like all Taylor Swift singles, it promptly went to #1, where it has remained for three weeks.
‘Patient Zero’ is Swift’s 16th #1 hit on the Hot 100 and her 10th to debut in the top spot (a record she shares with Drake). Swift trails only Elvis Presley (17), Mariah Carey (19), and The Beatles (20) for the most #1 hits. She will no doubt break The Beatles’ record within a few years, unless she settles down in Cleveland and stops recording.
This is a fine song that fits well on the somewhat disappointing Showgirl. ‘Babylon’ is my favorite of the four Encore tracks, but this one isn’t far behind. I much prefer Swift’s Toy Story 5 contribution ‘I Knew It, I Knew You’ to anything on The Life of a Showgirl, and suspect she’ll take home an Oscar for it next year.
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If you wanna party with somebody who might know
About the devil on his shoulder under his halo
When the toxins take their hold, you’d rather die than let it go
But if you’re sick of him, I got you, I was patient zero
[Verse 1]
I’ve gotta be honest, I’ve been expecting your call
No, it’s not a bad time at all
I heard somebody saying there’s trouble in paradise
And my lips are sealed tight now
[Pre-Chorus]
It’s not for me to tell
Someone else what to do
[Chorus]
But if you wanna party with somebody who might know
About the devil on his shoulder under his halo
When the toxins take their hold, you’d rather die than let it go
But if you’re sick of him, I got you, I was patient zero
[Verse 2]
I bet he burst into your life like fireworks
I bet he even said “I love you” first
And when you saw another woman coming out of his place
I bet he kissed the rain off your face
[Pre-Chorus]
Now he seems bored by you
And you don’t know what to do
[Chorus]
But if you wanna party with somebody who might know
About the devil on his shoulder under his halo
When the toxins take their hold, you’d rather die than let it go
But if you’re sick of him, I got you, I was patient zero (I was patient)
I was patient zero
[Bridge]
So let’s get into it
I know he charmed your family and friends
And you thought it’s ’cause he loves you
But it’s ’cause he loves how everybody else loves him (Uh-huh)
I know it seems like he shines so bright
But he’s bathing in your reflected light
On a free solo social climb (Uh-huh)
Take it from somebody who lost his games but won the race
Take it from someone who said all of this to his face
Someone who knows she’s more than just the chase
Someone who had him and walked away
And so
[Chorus]
If you wanna party with somebody who might know
About the devil on his shoulder under his halo
And when the toxins take their hold, you’d rather die than let it go
But if you’re sick of him, I got you, I was patient zero
[Outro]
So if you wanna kick it, then I’m with it, I’ve been there
Felt the reeling, done the healing, said the curses and prayers
When the fever turns a dreamer into a pathetic ghost
If he’s killing you, I see you, I was patient zero
