Coming off of her historic night at the Grammys, Billie Eilish has her second top ten hit with ‘everything i wanted,’ the latest single from her lauded debut album when we all fall asleep where do we go.
The previous single, ‘bad guy,’ made it to #1, while this one peaked at #8 and is currently sitting in the tenth spot.
I enjoyed Eilish’s 2017 EP Don’t Smile at Me quite a bit, but I haven’t warmed to this album. It has a few highlights, but too much of it is meandering and shapeless. This song has grown on me with repeat listens, though.
Here’s how Eilish describes ‘everything i wanted’:
Pretty much that whole song is about me and Finneas’ relationship as siblings. We started writing it because I literally had a dream that I killed myself and nobody cared and all of my best friends and people that I worked with basically came out in public and said, like, “Oh, we never liked her.” In the dream, the fans didn’t care. The internet shit on me for killing myself, all this stuff, and it really did mess me up.
I mean, the message behind the song is like […] my brother is my best friend, and I have these dreams and these things happen, and no matter what happens, he’s gonna always be there for me, and it’s the same the other way around.
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
Not what you’d think
And if I’m bein’ honest
It might’ve been a nightmare
To anyone who might care
Thought I could fly (Fly)
So I stepped off the Golden, mm
Nobody cried (Cried, cried, cried, cried)
Nobody even noticed
I saw them standing right there
Kinda thought they might care (Might care, might care)
[Pre-Chorus]
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me
[Chorus]
And you say, “As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you
Don’t wanna lie here, but you can learn to
If I could change the way that you see yourself
You wouldn’t wonder why you hear
‘They don’t deserve you'”
[Verse 2]
I tried to scream
But my head was underwater
They called me weak
Like I’m not just somebody’s daughter
Coulda been a nightmare
But it felt like they were right there
And it feels like yesterday was a year ago
But I don’t wanna let anybody know
‘Cause everybody wants something from me now
And I don’t wanna let ’em down
[Pre-Chorus]
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me
[Chorus]
And you say, “As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you
Don’t wanna lie here, but you can learn to
If I could change the way that you see yourself
You wouldn’t wonder why you hear
‘They don’t deserve you'”
[Outro]
If I knew it all then, would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?
If I knew it all then, would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?
Meet Me In Montauk 
I’ve only heard a few songs from Eilish, and this wasn’t one of them. She and her brother are certainly talented and a welcome change from the rest of the top 40 fare.