At long last, here we are at the final matchup of Round One of Montauk Madness! Thirty-two battles to determine which 32 artists will advance to fight again.
Both of today’s contenders have shown up already in Round One in other incarnations: The Smiths’ frontman Morrissey showed up as a solo act, while Ben Folds showed up in the form of his band, Ben Folds Five.
I voted against Ben Folds Five (who faced the formidable Aimee Mann) while promising that their spirit would live on through the solo work of Ben Folds. So I have a moral obligation to vote for Folds today, regardless of his opponent.
As for that opponent, I’m sorry to see such a creative and influential band as The Smiths die in Round One, but this was ultimately an easy call.
So, what happens next? Well, if you missed your chance to vote in any of the Round One matchups, you still have a bit longer to do so. You’ll find all of the opening round battles here. Some of the earliest polls have already closed as I prepare for Round Two, but the later ones remain open. Only one vote per person will count.
I will jump right into Round Two starting on Monday. Brace yourselves… things should get a little harder now.
[Verse 1]
I was minding my business
Lifting some lead off
The roof of the Holy Name church
It was worthwhile living a laughable life
To set my eyes on the blistering sight
[Chorus]
Of a Vicar in a tutu
He’s not strange
He just wants to live his life this way
[Verse 2]
A scanty bit of a thing
With a decorative ring
That wouldn’t cover the head of a goose
As Rose collects the money in a canister
Who comes sliding down the bannister?
[Chorus]
Of a Vicar in a tutu
He’s not strange
He just wants to live his life this way
[Verse 3]
The monkish monsignor
With a head full of plaster
Said “My man, get your vile soul dry-cleaned”
As Rose counts the money in the canister
As natural as rain
He dances again
My God!
The Vicar in a tutu
Oh yeah
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh…
The Vicar in a tutu
Oh yeah
Oh…
[Verse 4]
The next day in the pulpit
With freedom and ease
Combatting ignorance, dust, and disease
As Rose counts the money in the canister
As natural as rain
He dances again and again and again
[Outro]
In the fabric of a tutu
Any man could get used to
And I am the living sign
And I am the living sign
And I am the living sign
And I am the living sign
And I am the living sign
And I am the living sign
Meet Me In Montauk 
Given my visceral dislike of the Smiths and my love for Folds, this may be my easiest vote in Round 1. Looking forward to Round 2…
I voted for Ben Folds Five when against Aimee Mann and said at the time I would likely spread the wealth when it came to Ben Folds’ solo work and vote for someone else. However, I can not in good conscience vote for The Smiths over Ben Folds, a band who though I appreciate, I can never say I like.