Song of the Day #3,080: ‘Shiny’ – Jemaine Clement

moanaMy final Moana selection comes courtesy of Flight of the Conchords’ Jemaine Clement, who plays a large blinged-out crab named Tamatoa.

‘Shiny’ is a glam rock song that Clement performs in full-on David Bowie mode. Lin-Miranda Manuel says that he was inspired to write the track after Bowie’s passing.

In addition to its formal niftiness, ‘Shiny’ contains some of the film’s best wordplay. Even though the scene has very little to do with the film’s overall plot and theme (a “Big Lipped Alligator Moment,’ if you will), it’s a highlight.

This week’s five tracks form the spine of the film’s soundtrack, but two short songs near the end are the most powerfully emotional. ‘I Am Moana’ is the feminist battle cry of self-fulfillment every young woman should belt out, and ‘Know Who You Are’ is the backdrop to the most moving showdown with a villain I’ve ever seen in a Disney film.

Well, Tamatoa hasn’t always been this glam
I was a drab little crab once
Now I know I can be happy as a clam
Because I’m beautiful baby
Did your granny say “listen to your heart” ?
Be who you are on the inside ?
I need three words to tear her argument apart
Your granny lied

I’d rather be shiny
Like a treasure from a sunken pirate wreck
Scrub the deck and make it look
I will sparkle like a wealthy woman’s neck
Just a sec

Don’t you know
Fish are dumb, dumb, dumb
They chase anything that glitters
Oh, and here they come, come, come
To the brightest thing that glitters
Mmm, fish dinners

I just love free food
And you look like seafood

Well, well, well
Little Maui’s having trouble with his look
You little semi-demi-mini-god
Ouch ! What a terrible performance
Get the hook ! (Get it?)
You don’t swing it like you used to, man
Yet I have to give you credit for my start
And your tattoos on the outside
For just like you I made myself a work of art
I’ll never hide, I can’t, I’m too

Watch me dazzle like a diamond in the rough
Strut my stuff, my stuff is so
Send your armies but they’ll never be enough
My shell’s too tough, Maui man

You could try, try, try
But you can’t expect a demigod
To beat a decapod (Look it up)
You will die, die, die
Now it’s time for me to take apart
Your aching heart

Far from the ones who abandoned you
Chasing the love of
These humans who made you feel wanted
You try to be tough
But your armour’s just not hard enough
Maui !
Now it’s time to kick your hiney
Ever seen someone so

Soak it in cause it’s the last you’ll ever see
C’est la vie mon ami, I’m so
Now I’ll eat you so prepare your final plea
Just for me

You’ll never be quite as shiny
You wish you were nice and shiny

One thought on “Song of the Day #3,080: ‘Shiny’ – Jemaine Clement

  1. Dana says:

    I loved the Bowie homage, whether it fit with the plot or not.😄

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