Of the songs I’m featuring this week — all of which I hate — today’s selection is the one I’ve been forced to listed to the most.
That’s because the ‘Cha Cha Slide’ is the sort of obnoxious call-and-answer track that appeals to both sports arenas and children’s activity planners.
It’s hard to avoid this noxious tune at a birthday party, or on a cruise line, or during halftime of a Heat game. It’s aimed at captive audiences, which makes it all the more evil.
What’s amazing about ‘Cha Cha Slide’ is that it somehow transcends the normal passage of time. I can listen to this song for what feels like every bit of ten minutes and then discover it’s only at the two minute mark. If I learned I had an hour to live, I’d put this song on repeat and that hour would feel like a year.
A year of torture, but a year nonetheless.
Everybody clap your hands
Clap clap clap clap your hands
Clap clap clap clap your hands
Alright we gonna do the basic steps
slideTo the left
slide to the right
Take it back now y’all
One hop this time
Right foot lets stomp
Left foot lets stomp
Cha cha real smooth
Turn it out
To the left
Take it back now y’all
One hop this time
Right foot lets stomp
Left foot lets stomp
Cha cha now y’all
Last time to get funky
To the right now
To the left
Take it back now y’all
One hop this time, one hop this time
Right foot two stomps
Left foot two stomps
Slide to the left
Slide to the right
Criss cross, criss cross
Cha cha real smooth
Lets go to work
To the left
Take it back now y’all
Two hops this time, two hops this time
Right foot two stomps
Left foot two stomps
Hands on your knees, hands on your knees
Get funky with it
Ooooooooh yeah (come on)
Cha cha now y’all
Turn it out
To the left
Take it back now y’all
Five hops this time
Right foot lets stomp
Left foot lets stomp
Right foot again
Left foot again
Right foot lets stomp
Left foot lets stomp
FREEEZE
Everybody clap your hands
(Come on y’all) (Check it out y’all)
How low can you go?
Can you go down low?
All the way to the floor
How low can you go?
Can you bring it to the top?
Like you never never stop?
Can you bring it to the top, one hop
Right foot now
Left foot now y’all
Cha cha real smooth
Turn it out
To the left
Take it back now y’all
One hop this time
One hop this time
Reverse (reverse)
Slide to the left
Slide to the right
Reverse, reverse
Reverse, reverse
Cha cha now y’all, cha cha again
Cha cha now y’all, cha cha again
Turn it out
To the left
Take it back now y’all
Two hops two hops
Two hops two hops
Right foot lets stomp
left foot let stomp
Charlie brown
Turn it out now
Slide to the right
Slide to the left
Take it back now y’all
Cha cha now y’all
Oooh yeah mmm, yeah do that stuff oooh yeah I’m out y’all peace!
Meet Me In Montauk 
Too funny! I can’t remember exactly which bar mitzvah or wedding it was when I was first exposed to this party staple. I do remember however, since I had until that moment been unfamiliar with the song and accompanying dance, being amazed that so many others seemed to know how to do the dance routine. I mean here were a collection of white folks, mostly Jewish, of varying ages from teens to seniors, who suddenly were able to do this coordinated dance move. Clearly I had missed the introductory class these people had secretly attended.
To this day, I can proudly say I have never learned or participated in the cha cha slide. Still, watching others do it continues to amuse me. And as far as party songs go, my tolerance for this one is far higher than the likes of “Hot, Hot, Hot” or “Red, Red Wine.” I suspect the sight of watching clumsy white people attempting to follow the dance instructions of the only black person in “attendance” at an event is enough to keep this song from ever being truly hated.
Daniel just said, “let’s get funky” and jumped up to start doing the dance. So there you go š And the lyrics are the instructions, so it’s not as if it’s a particularly difficult dance to “learn,” Dana š
Love your observation about the passage of time slowing while you listen to this song. Very funny.
Oh, as if instructions in the lyrics would make me able to dance! And don’t even get me started with the “Electric Slide!”
OK I admit, I’ve never heard or tried to dance to this one. Macarena anyone?
I rather like it and all your comments too (everyone’s). š LMDO
(Laughing my dentures out)