It’s been a week of relentless positivity, so I figured I might as well go out by throwing stones at some of the movies that disappointed me this year.
I try to see only movies I think I will like, or at least movies a lot of other people seem to like. I certainly don’t envy film critics obligated to watch every piece of crap opening at a multiplex near them.
Following are some of the titles I expected (or at least hoped) to like, only to end up disappointed.
In alphabetical order…
Annette
A musical with no good songs, featuring an obnoxious, toxic lead character who never shuts up. The least pleasant time I had watching a movie last year.
Being the Ricardos
Poorly cast, overwritten, and sunk by a laughable deus ex machina ending that makes a hero of J. Edgar Hoover. Aaron Sorkin needs to hand the director’s reins back to the collaborators with whom he has made many great films.
House of Gucci
This movie wants to be The Godfather, when it should really be something closer to Showgirls. How bizarre that this was Ridley Scott’s hit while The Last Duel was forgotten.
Last Night in Soho
Starts strong but devolves into horror movie cliches. A waste of two great lead actresses.
The Matrix Resurrections
Spends half its runtime literally re-running scenes from the classic first film, and the rest trudging through the least imaginative action sequences in a big-budget movie last year.
No Sudden Move
What should have been a fun Soderbergh caper film was somehow deadly dull veering on incomprehensible.
Passing
Beautiful to look at, well-acted, and oh so boring. I heard the score’s incessantly repeating piano notes in my nightmares for weeks.
Spencer
Another beautiful, well-acted movie that went nowhere. It succeeded in putting me in Princess Di’s shoes in that I wanted to get the hell out of the theater.
The Tender Bar
I didn’t believe a single thing in this movie. Hillbilly Elegy for the Long Island set.
The Velvet Underground
A feature length episode of VH1’s Behind the Music that has somehow garnered widespread critical acclaim.
Vivo
Lin-Manuel Miranda had an amazing year, but this charmless third-rate animated film kept him from batting a thousand.
Zack Snyder’s Justice League
Twice as long, just as stupid.
Stay if you wanna stay”
I didn’t care if you hung around me
I didn’t care if you went away
And I know you were never right
I’ll admit I was never wrong
I could never make up my mind
I made it up as I went along
And though I treated you like a child
I’m gonna miss you for the rest of my life
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you
I never had any time
And I never had any call
But I went out of my way just to hurt you
The one I shouldn’t hurt at all
I thought I was being cool
Yeah, I thought I was being strong
But it’s always the same old story
You never know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone
If I ever catch up with you
I’m gonna love you for the rest of your life
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you (all I need is a miracle)
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you (all I need is a miracle)
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you
And if I ever catch up with you
I’m gonna love you for the rest of your life
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you (all I need is a miracle)
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you (all I need is a miracle)
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you (all I need is a miracle)
All I need is a, all I need is a
All I need is you (all I need is a miracle)
Meet Me In Montauk 
I couldn’t disagree more about The Tender Bar. You didn’t believe a thing in this autobiographical story? Not even sure what that means. Ben Affleck turned in one of the best performances of his career in a touching, poignant, well-written movie.
Not sure if you were in a sour mood, impacted by those watching with you and/or negatively influenced by high expectations given praise from others in your family, including us, but I really think you missed the boat on this one.
I watched it alone and without high expectations. The movie has a 53% Tomato ranking (and only 70% from audiences), so it’s not like I’m unique in having this opinion of it.
Like Hillbilly Elegy, another autobiographical story, I found it very inauthentic. It was oddly structured, weirdly shot, and had a bland protagonist. I preferred the earlier childhood scenes but really didn’t like Tye Sheridan as the older J.R. Affleck was very charming but he didn’t have any edges. Everything in the movie felt sanded down to a safe dullness. What is so special or interesting about this guy’s life that warranted making it into a movie?
I have to side with Dana on this one, I thought “The Tender Bar” was a delightful movie. I didn’t go into it with any expectations other than knowing that Affleck had been nominated for a Golden Globe for his performance. Sometimes one’s life can be interesting merely by the people one surrounds himself/herself with. I thought the soundtrack was great too, though a song or two played in the background before they were actually released. It wasn’t a great flick, but I enjoyed it … it had a nice gentle touch.
I agree, Rob, about the soundtrack, the gentle touch and the value in a relatively simple life being shared on screen.
Clay, I, too, was less a fan of the portion of the film when the older J.R. made his appearance and found the scenes with him and his girlfriend particularly inauthentic.
The rest, however, I loved.
Thanks Rob. I too caught the fact that some of the songs had not been released the year it was supposed to be in the movie. I suspect that most under 50, unless they are true music aficionados would not have caught that.
I loved Tenderbar! Just saying. I also liked Gucci and Passing. The rest I agree with you even though I refused to see them due to reviews mostly.