I guess the late summer of the ass song was bound to culminate in something as horrible as this. Jennifer Lopez’s ‘Booty,’ featuring Iggy Azalea, is the sort of thing that makes me sympathize with the terrorists.
This song was initially released with a rap by frequent J Lo collaborator Pitbull, but somebody realized that two female asses are better than one, so Iggy Azalea was recruited for the remix. Thirty-three million YouTube views (and counting) suggest that somebody was right.
Ten people are credited with writing this song. Yes, ten. I wonder which of them came up with the line “Big, big booty, what you got a big booty.” This song is evidence that a song’s quality goes down as the number of writers goes up.
I am impressed by one aspect of this atrocity, and that’s the astounding fact that Jennifer Lopez is 45 years old and still able to go toe-to-toe (and ass-to-ass) with Azalea, who is 21 years her junior. The woman is a freak of nature.
Big, big booty
What you got a big booty
Big, big booty
What you got a big booty
Big, big booty
What you got a big booty
Big, big booty
What you
(Ain’t that a freak)
Big, big booty
What you got a big booty
(Now baby, you’re gorgeous
I mean you’re fine, you’re sexy
But most of all you are just absolutely booty-full)
[Verse 1: Jennifer Lopez]
Have you seen her on the dance floor
She got the boom, shake the room
That’s the lightning and the thunder
You wanna meet her, you wanna touch her
See the light in her eyes, and it starts to make you wonder
[Pre-Hook: Jennifer Lopez]
All the sexy girls in the party
Go and grab a man, bring him to the dance floor
Go on let them jeans touch you while you’re dancing
It’s his birthday, give him what he ask for
(Let me show you how to do it)
[Hook]
Big, big booty
What you got a big booty
(Work)
Big, big booty
What you got a big booty
(Shake that)
Big, big booty
What you got a big booty
(Go to work)
Big, big booty
What you
[Verse 2: Jennifer Lopez]
The way she moves
I know you want her
She light the fire, get you right
That’s the lightning and the thunder
You wanna meet her, you gotta touch her
Hold on tight for the ride
Cause you know you gonna love her
[Pre-Hook] + [Hook]
[Verse 3: Iggy Azaela]
They begging me to drop down on it but right now Iggy on the top
The last time the world seen a booty this good, it was on Jenny from the block
I got ’em going crazy lately
But baby knowin’ that only make me
Wanna tell all of my ladies to get up on the floor and just shake it, shake it
Ya’ll know what I’ve been on, ya’ll know that I’ve been on
I’m queen big booty, Iggy, now find me a bone to sit on
Girls with the cheeks, put ’em hands in the air
Then pop that, pop that, let ’em know that you there
See, everybody wanna get a taste
You know that we’ve got enough to share
But fact we girls with the big fat booty too fancy to ever play fair
[Verse 4: Jennifer Lopez]
Mesmerized by the size of it
You can fight it if you like take your time
I can guarantee you’ll have the time of your life
Throw up your hands if you love a big booty
[Outro: Jennifer Lopez]
Big big big big big big booty
What you
Big big big big big big booty
What you
Big big big big big big
(Let me show you how to do it)
(Work)
(Shake that)
(Go to work)
[Hook]
Meet Me In Montauk 
This is definitely the weaker of the booty songs of 2014, though I agree J Lo is a freak of booty nature.