As my Brad Paisley theme week continues, I will now move on to another aspect of the man’s music that contributes to his enormous appeal: Brad Paisley is sweet.
I’m sure numerous essays have been written about the appeal of cowboys to modern women, especially sensitive and polite cowboys. Tim Riggins on Friday Night Lights has all the women I know panting like lapdogs because he epitomizes that concept, even if he generally trades the cowboy hat for a football helmet. He’s a little macho and a little blunt but he’s also charming as hell and deep down he’s a teddy bear.
Brad Paisley doesn’t have the biceps of Tim Riggins, or his purty mouth, but he’s the same sort of good-old-boy softie. His albums are littered with songs about his sons and his grandpa. Even the obligatory religious tracks are touching.
Today’s song was written from the perspective of the adopted son of one of Paisley’s friends. Paisley reportedly said to his pal, a fellow songwriter, “Let’s write a song that’ll make your wife cry” and they came up with ‘He Didn’t Have to Be.’ This song could totally rehabilitate the reputation of stepfathers everywhere (thanks a lot, Terry O’Quinn!).
This song is perhaps the quintessential example of the sort of country song I would have laughed off my CD player a couple of years ago. It’s so square it’s a cube, without a hint of irony or sophistication. And admittedly it’s not the style of Paisley’s I like best — it lacks the wit and the musical dexterity of his better work. But I have to be honest… it moves me. I guess I’m becoming a bit of a softie, too, in my old age.
It always winds up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she’d ever meet someone
Who wouldn’t find out about me and then turn around and run
I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question and I prayed that she’d say yes
And then all of a sudden
Oh, it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something’s missing
To a family
Lookin’ back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I’m at least half the dad
That he didn’t have to be
I met the girl that’s now my wife about three years ago
We had the perfect marriage but we wanted somethin’ more
Now here I stand surrounded by our family and friends
Crowded ’round the nursery window as they bring the baby in
And now all of a sudden
It seemed so strange to me
How we’ve gone from something’s missing
To a family
Lookin’ through the glass I think about the man
That’s standin’ next to me
And I hope I’m at least half the dad
That he didn’t have to be
Lookin’ back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
Is I hope I’m at least half the dad
That he didn’t have to be
Yeah, I hope I’m at least half the dad
That he didn’t have to be
Because he didn’t have to be
You know he didn’t have to be
Meet Me In Montauk 
Just put on a cowboy hat, and you can have Alex panting like a lapdog for you. 😛
Panting like lapdogs?!
Yup, this is as square as they come. Perhaps you chose this song to feature as a tip of the cowboy to hat to that purty mouthed Tim Riggins? 😉
What can you really say about a song like this? To say anything mean is sort of like tearing the stuffing out of a carnival teddy bear. The thing looks a bit off and it’s taking up shelf space better served by far superior examples of the teddy bear craft, but – HELL, it’s a teddy bear! How could one be so cruel?
In other words, this is the first song I find blatantly manipulative (intentionally so, apparently) in a negative way. I expect that most songs are crafted to manipulate emotions, but this one is just a bit too obvious about it. That said, I do like the refrain, and I find it clever (“I hope I’m half the Dad he didn’t have to be”) And, not surprisingly, the part I like best is that telling detail right at the start, when the kid gets to go to the movies with his mom and her date. Sweet, indeed. More important, it is specific and it’s authentic. Then the song loses me… I think these two songwriting pals are dreaming if they think that kid was really excited about the prospect of mommy getting married to this guy after just a few months. Still, guess they had to move the timeline along.
Dana and I listened to quite a bit of country music in Nashville, as every station plays the stuff. It became a sort of contest (which Dana always won) to sing the next verse in a song we’d never heard (or heard of) before, as invariably the kid would skin his knee in verse one, get into some sort of teenage trouble in verse two, be hitched by the third verse, making amends in the fourth, and so on (see Paisley’s song about grandpa – “No” – for an example of the model). This song isn’t trying to do that classic country thing, but it has a bit of the feel just the same. A bit too paint by numbers for my taste, in other words.
Or, as you put it in your post, far more succintlly I might add, a bit too square.
I can’t really disagree with anything you say here, which is one of the reasons I chose this song over a dozen others I like better. Because despite all of that stuff, I still find it very touching.
One reason is that when I found the clip on YouTube, the comments are filled with people saying “this song makes me cry” and “this song reminds me of my dad” and “this is my life when I was little.”
Now, are those people being manipulated in a negative way? Perhaps. But I doubt they’d see it that way. I think they’re looking through the songcraft to the sentiment, which is undeniably sweet.
Amy pretty much said all I was thinking about this song (See what happens when she wakes up an hour before I do!:)) Yes, it’s sweet, but otherwise quite ordinary and unspectacular.
Oh, and let’s not use random you tube comments as proof of anything, as most of these same people are likely moved to tears by stock Hallmark cards and soundbites on political ads.
Hey, I’ve seen your wife cry at more than a few Hallmark commercials (if not cards) so careful where you’re treading there!
Oh, Amy’s emotional reactions are well documented in our home. In fact, when we watch American Idol, we count down the minutes until Amy first cries during the touching background story parts. Maddie also holds the remote to allow for what we have now termed “over-laughing” at shows like “Modern Family.” What can I say? To quote Randy Newman, “she’s a real emotional girl.”
😛
which, I would think, would make me all the more credible when weighing in on a song such as this one. I think I just want a different song. I want the song to be sung from the perspective of the kid from start to finish – with the last verse finding him happy to realize this guy is going to stay around longer than the others, is going to marry his mom, adopt him. He can still sing about how he hopes to be half the dad his own dad din’t have to be without us going through his marriage and the birth of his kid.
After all, when Brad and his songwriting buddy set out to make momma cry, I’m guessing their kid was still a kid. I like the idea of a song told from that perspective, so I found myself rolling my eyes when it rocketed off into the future.
I need my AI back story and my Hallmark cards to wallow in the details, you see.
As for the YouTube commenters, I think it’s a testament to how starved a certain part of the population is to find songs about aspects of their lives. Serve them up anything, and they’ll be happy to have it. The kid who doesn’t have a room fileld with Vermont teddy bears is happy to have the lesser carnival variety.
I looked up a song the other day that was co-written by one of the songwriters we saw when we were in Nashville. It is about being the parent of a disabled kid. I just now tried to retrace my steps to find it again. Here it is:
I don’t like the song much at all, but look at those comments! How could you not feel for these people who experience the life Lisa Aschmann and Karen Taylor-Good wrote about? That to me is what happens if you’re the kid who grew up raised by a good man who adopted you. Sure, you’ll like this song. And that’s great. But imagine if an even better song was written about the same subject? Now it would go beyond just being the soundtrack to the lives of the particular people who have lived its verses.
I think we’re all basically in agreement here (and yes, that song you posted is dreadful).
I agree that the jump ahead in time is unnecessary and ultimately weakens the song, which as I said is not among my favorites. I chose to highlight this song today because it’s an example of Paisley writing about something I’m not used to hearing, and doing it in a way that touches me despite itself and myself. And that’s an element of his discography that I’m drawn to.
he’s a little selfish what if the mom dosn’t like the guy and he had to be somewhat of a good dad
i dont think its the best song to show what makes Brad Paisley sweet though. “Little Moments” doesnt follow that standard storyline structure, and it shows his sweet and caring side much better.
Looks like it’s time to get Sophia and Fiona writing on the blog to even things up:)
Yeah, really. 🙂 I like having the new voices in the comments!
Maddie, check in tomorrow for a new aspect of Brad Paisley that would include ‘Little Moments’ and a lot of his best songs.
ok 🙂