I’m very excited about this year in movies, both what I’ve already seen and what’s to come, but I wanted to indulge in a little negativity before I get to the good stuff.
One of the most upsetting cinematic trends of the past 15 years is the Disney live-action remake, wherein the Mouse House picks over the bones of its beloved animated classics and turns them into soulless cash grabs devoid of artistic merit.
As anybody who followed my Disney Animation Marathon knows, I am a big fan of the studio’s animated work. I wouldn’t have spent the better part of a year watching all 64 of them otherwise.
Having gone through that exercise, I know some are much better than others. But even the worst Disney animated film has more artistic integrity than any of these live-action cringefests.
OK, I’ll admit a soft spot for Kenneth Branagh’s 2015 Cinderella, a movie that felt more like a creative venture than an attempt to solidify the bottom line. I think that movie worked because the source material was so light on plot that the filmmakers could flesh out the story and characters.
Remakes of more recent films, however, simply regurgitate every plot point and line of dialogue, and often the camerawork and editing, too. These are carbon copies with none of the visual flair of the originals — gorgeous animation replaced with dingy cinematography and half-assed visual effects.
The trailer for the latest Disney live-action abomination just dropped, and this one is particularly galling. Moana is my favorite animated film and one of my favorite films, period. It’s a perfect movie, full of breathtaking visuals, meaningful themes, and profound emotion. From the looks of the live-action Moana trailer, Disney has turned a masterpiece into a monstrosity.
Online reaction has been vicious, so my hope is that this movie bombs so hard it scares the studio away from making more of these films. I know Tangled and Hercules are in the works and it’s unlikely those will be halted even if this one is a disaster. But maybe, just maybe, they’ll come to their senses before they turn their attention to The Princess and the Frog or Frozen. Is that too much to ask?
Of course, it will probably make a billion dollars. Box office receipts for these live-action remakes tend to track with the success of the original film, and Moana was a huge moneymaker. Most viewers don’t seem to care about quality, just a way to divert their kids for 90 minutes. Sigh.
Faka logo a ke
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Faka logo fakatu
Faka logo ki te Pate
[Verse 1]
Ke manatua faiga iena
Te luelue te ma lo hi i na hiva?
[Verse 2]
Hau la ke ta o
Hiki mai to lima
Hau la ke ta o
Hau ta hauniga
Hau la ke ta o
Hiki mai to lima
Hau la ke ta o
Ko koe tagata e lago ai au
[Verse 3]
Tamilomilo fakatamilomilo
E kua manino toku ulu
Tamilomilo fakatamilomilo
Toe fai mai lava ke manino
[Chorus]
Katakata mai (Kata mai)
Hihiva mai (Hihiva mai)
Fakalogo ki te Pate (Aue)
Ma te luelue (Si, si)
Katakata mai (Kata mai)
Hihiva mai (Hihiva mai)
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Ma te luelue (Si, si)
[Bridge]
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[Interlude]
Si, si
Si, si
Si, si
[Chorus]
Katakata mai (Kata mai)
Hihiva mai (Hihiva mai)
Fakalogo ki te Pate (Aue)
Ma te luelue (Si, si)
Katakata mai (Kata mai)
Hihiva mai (Hihiva mai)
Fakalogo ki te Pate (Aue)
Ma te luelue (Si, si)
Katakata mai
Hihiva mai (Si, si)
Fakalogo ki te Pate
Ma te luelue (Si, si)
Katakata mai
Hihiva mai (Si, si)
Fakalogo ki te Pate
Ma te luelue
Meet Me In Montauk 
It’s hard for me to get to worked up about a Disney cash grab as that horse left the barn decades ago with multiple sequels of beloved classics, Broadway, musical versions, merchandise, and theme park rides. In each of these cases, some of the products work better than others.
The same is largely true of these live action remakes. Some work better than others however, you have such a resentment that I believe in some cases, you haven’t even watched the live action version to truly have an opinion and even if you did watch one, you would be going in with such negativity and cynicism. It’s hard to imagine you would allow yourself to just enjoy the experience.
Some are better than others? I could say the same thing about Republicans, but I’m not gonna vote for one.
I do admire your ability to argue on behalf of the most unforgivable subjects!
I only wish I knew what this is all about 😳
“I wanted to indulge in a little negativity before I get to the good stuff.” – LOL love that!
It can be hard when there’s such a plethora of good films on the horizon to not first flush out some cynicism first. I’m not always of the opinion that these live action remakes are purely motivated from a financial standpoint. In some cases, I truly think there’s a desire to share the stories/messages of some of these classic films with a younger generation.
Aladdin, for example, I feel was a great reimagining of a Disney classic that hopefully resonated with newer audiences and even encouraged some to engage with the original source material. Here I loved certain additions like Jasmine’s powerful anthem which gave an updated perspective to the role of “princess” (not that that isn’t being done equally or more effectively with newer original films like “Frozen”). I was also a sucker for the “Prince Ali” remix with booming 808s and electric hi-hats. I found this remake to be inoffensive and in my case quite delightful.
However, I do agree with you that this “Moana” live action film seems ill-intentioned. When the original movie is just 10 years away and the sequel even more recent is there really a need to give this story the live action treatment. Unfortunately your right that money seems to be the only thing that truly talks when it comes to reconsidering what projects to green light. Even “Moana 2” which was critically ambiguous sailed to a very successful box office.
Viewership and dollars to Disney shouldn’t be the sole contributor to their decision making process and it’s unfortunate when they do release an original film and either for poor marketing or just the sheer breadth of how much is getting released nowadays, it falls through the cracks and receives a poorer reception.
It’d be a better Disney if diehard fans like you were the ones making the calls up there instead of Mickey needing his fifteenth mansion hoping Moana (live action) will get him there!