Its been a full six months since my last installment of ‘What the Kids are Listening To’ so I figured it’s due.
The long wait doesn’t necessarily mean I’ve missed out on a lot of chart-topping hits, however. Fewer songs than ever are cycling through the Billboard Hot 100. In fact, the issue has become so dire that Billboard just changed some of the guidelines for how long songs can stick around.
Concluding my ranked list of the songs on Taylor Swift’s The Life of a Showgirl…
#1. ‘Ruin the Friendship’
There’s a school of thought that Taylor Swift has never been better than she was on 2008’s Fearless, an album released when she was 18 years old. And perhaps her best song is that album’s ‘Fifteen,’ written when she was just a couple of years older than its subjects.
I don’t necessarily subscribe to that theory — the woman has released a mountain of excellent material over the last 17 years — but I do viscerally respond to the authenticity and emotion Swift pours into her songs about high school.
Continuing my ranked list of the songs on Taylor Swift’s The Life of a Showgirl…
#3. ‘The Fate of Ophelia’
Taylor Swift has a history of picking bad lead singles (look no further than the selection of ‘Me!’ to introduce the otherwise phenomenal Lover). This time out she nailed it, dropping one of the catchiest songs in her whole discography.
‘The Fate of Ophelia’ kicks off the album with a burst of adrenaline, boasting a multi-part chorus that digs its hooks in deeper the longer it goes. It has a trademark Swift bridge, too, that downshifts for a spell before shooting back out of the gate. This song deserves all the records it’s breaking, and it might just get some curious listeners to read Hamlet.
Continuing my ranked list of the songs on Taylor Swift’s The Life of a Showgirl…
#6. ‘Wood’
I wish I could go back in time three years and place a bet that Taylor Swift would soon write a song about Travis Kelce’s penis. I imagine those long odds would have made me a rich man. But here we are… with a cornucopia of double entendres set to a groove that’s alarmingly similar to The Jackson Five’s ‘I Want You Back.’ Certainly much of the credit is due to that Motown classic (lawsuit incoming?), but this is a banger of a track regardless.
It’s also another reason why Kelce, he of the “redwood tree,” “magic wand,” and “key that opened [Taylor’s] thighs,” is this album’s biggest fan.
Continuing my ranked list of the songs on Taylor Swift’s The Life of a Showgirl…
#9. ‘Eldest Daughter’
Track five has always held a special place on Swift’s albums, and this is a decent choice to receive the honor. ‘Eldest Daughter’ is a sweet piano-based love song about setting aside negativity and fear and giving yourself permission to let someone in. It’s touching and romantic, especially in the second verse and bridge, where Swift uses childhood imagery to describe her emotions.
The song’s first verse is a bit of a mess, though, crammed with dated slang about toxic internet culture. That knocks an otherwise very good song down a few spots.
Meet Me In Montauk 