Continuing my look at the albums of 1975…
Aerosmith is one of the best-selling rock bands of all time and yet somehow I’ve never heard one of their albums start to finish. I have vague memories of 1989’s Pump circulating when I was in high school, but I never got around to listening.
I know the singles very well, and I’ve certainly rocked out to their greatest hits on countless rides of Disney World’s Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster, but I’d be hard pressed to name a single deep cut.
Given this massive blind spot, I was happy for the chance to dive into Aerosmith’s Toys in the Attic, the band’s third studio release. This album was Aerosmith’s commercial breakthrough and remains their top-selling album, with sales of over 9 million. But despite featuring classic tracks ‘Sweet Emotion’ and ‘Walk This Way,’ the record didn’t produce a hit single (‘Sweet Emotion’ had minor success, peaking at #36).
Those are the immediate highlights of the album, given my familiarity with them, but I found a lot to love here even after one listen. The opening title track is a rollicking blast of rock energy while closer ‘You See Me Crying’ proves they could write winning power ballads long before Armageddon. ‘Adam’s Apple’ is as muscular and catchy as any of the band’s hits.
And ‘Uncle Salty,’ today’s SOTD, quickly became a new favorite. I’m shocked Shania Twain was never sued for cribbing the melody for her ‘Man! I Feel Like a Woman!’ but at least she has good taste (fine, maybe it was an accident). It’s a dark tale of an abused child who turns to prostitution, but Steven Tyler and company somehow make it a bop.
I enjoyed this album enough to add Aerosmith to my list of potential deep dive artists. I’m sure they have plenty of other treasures for me to unearth.
Uncle Salty told me stories of a lonely
Baby with a lonely kind of life to lead
Her mammy was lusted, Daddy he was busted
They left her to be trusted ’til the orphan bleeds
[Chorus]
But when she cried at night, no one came
And when she cried at night, went insane
[Verse 2]
Uncle Salty told me when she was just a baby
That she’d get by and maybe someday she’d see
But soon she found her mother’s love for all the others
The pushers and the shovers was the life to lead
[Chorus]
But when she cried at night, no one came
And when she cried at night, went insane, ow!
[Bridge]
Ooh, it’s a sunny day outside my window
Ooh, it’s a sunny day outside my window
Ooh, oh yeah
Ooh, oh yeah, yeah yeah
[Guitar Solo]
[Verse 3]
Now she’s doing any for money and a penny
A sailor with a penny or two or three
Hers is the cunny for men who come a-running
They all come for fun and it seems to me
[Chorus]
That when she cried at night, no one came
And when she cried at night, went insane
[Outro]
Ooh, it’s a sunny day outside my window
Meet Me In Montauk 
I too have only passing familiarity with Aerosmith. My assumption was that, much like Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith would be too hard rock for my personal taste. I recall, however, my friend Mark back in college being a big fan of the band, and his musical taste generally aligned with mine.
If you do a deep dive, I’ll be right there with you to learn more about this classic rock band.
So, after taking a cursory glance at the lyrics… ewww. Why would any band want to turn this tale into a bop?! How many Uncle Salty’s have passed down a legacy of casual misogyny and sexual satisfaction at the expense of a person whose troubled past led them to their intersection with the Uncle Salty’s of the world?